You may have charisma but I've got chutzpah

If you have never taken an enneagram test I suggest you do. Unlike the Myers Briggs or other personality inventory tools this one delves into your motivators, fears and desires. All of the interns here were able to take the enneagram test to figure out which parts of our personalities were the most developed and also which were the least developed. I am a type 7: the enthusiast. The description of the enthusiast from the website:

 "We have named this personality type The Enthusiast because sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention. They approach life with curiosity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, like kids in a candy store who look at the world in wide-eyed, rapt anticipation of all the good     things they are about to experience. They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination. They have a quality best described by the Yiddish word "chutzpah"- a kind of brash nerviness." 

"Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied."

Well this personality type certainly describes the overall gist of my personality but it also alludes to what motivates me; maintaining freedom and happiness, avoiding missing out on worthwhile experiences and keeping excited and occupied. Tonight we were asked to reflect and see how these characteristics may have been in play in major decisions in our lives so far. The main decision that I've made that has had a huge impact on my life was transferring schools. One of my main drives for transferring was because it was what I wanted to do. This sounds trivial and very common-sense-y but it was the first (BIG) decision I had ever made 100% on my own with limited influences from those I cared for most. This was a very tough decision to make because I knew I would be leaving my friends and family and taking a blind jump into a new world; but it was motivated by the fact that I thought I may be missing out on some other worthwhile experience- big school, new faces, new city, etc.
On the opposite end, I am really struggling in the area of the individualist. The individualist is sensitive and expressive..two things I need to work on. My cynical outlook at times has given me all but a glimmer of hope in certain circumstances. Take the public school system in any state..I have given up on the school system because I have come to the conclusion that it won't ever get any better because the solution to every problem is pouring more money into the school. When teachers are trying to teach for a test (EOGs in particular are ridiculous in my opinion) extra money won't motivate them to deeply CARE about a child. I am not saying every teacher is this way.. I am just frustrated by the fact that money seems to be the only option because it makes the most sense? I don't know. This cynical attitude has tended to lead to a gloomy outlook and a sense of helplessness in things out of my direct control.

I will work on being more sensitive! My solution for most complaints is to "walk it off". This isn't really a good solution to most problems..

Smile!

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
-Mother Teresa


I have found that this is the best start of a relationship in our neighborhood. It is a nice start to any relationship really, but if you can't make someone smile chances are the relationship won't go very far. In Enderly Park, the key to the kids is making them laugh; if you can't make a fool out of yourself and laugh with them you don't have a shot. The summer is halfway over, and I am just starting to feel like all the kids are really opening up. This is making me sad and I am wishing that my time here would be a little bit longer, or that the kids were closer. But..everyone always leaves.


People here say this is where I stay; not this is where I live. It's something I've heard repeatedly since the beginning of our summer. Even if I ask where do you live they respond with I stay over here or over there. This neighborhood is very transient and always in transition. People come and go and may only stay for a few months to a year at most. Several of the kids have already asked if I am coming back next summer and I find it hard to tell them no because I am starting to see all the other let-downs they have faced. Instead of saying no, I keep saying that it depends on whether I get a job or not. One of the kids we see pretty much everyday asked me if I had to go back at the end of the summer. When I told her I did, she answered with "I hate that everyone always leaves." 


Despite all the hardships (as we middle class white folk like to say) these kids have had to overcome they are some of the happiest children I have ever met. They appreciate everything they have and when they complain it's usually about how hot it is outside. It really makes me wonder how so many people can complain about the simplest things and take so much for granted. It is frustrating! Everyone is guilty of this..including me. It has taken this summer to only just begin to realize how my "stuff" shouldn't really mean that much to me and how important relationships in this world really are. 


Which brings me back to my original intent..smile at everyone you see. It will make you feel better. It will make them feel better. And you will make the world better each time you do it.

Mission Team to the rescue

The last few weeks have been really busy and I haven't had a chance to update this thing..sorry.
Anyway, I need to backtrack a few weeks and catch up, so I'll start with the last week of June and update until now.

Last week of June
During this week, we had a mission team from Virginia come and help out. The group included two adult chaperons and about ten or so youth. All in all they were a very helpful group and we were thankful for their visit. The week was filled with kudzu-pulling, gardening, playing with our kids, and exploring a new neighborhood. When the kids got here they were a little timid about the neighborhood, as can be expected when coming from a small town. By the end of the week they were willing to walk around and say hey to our neighbors as they saw them out and about. We also did a poverty simulation dinner with them one of the nights. Each participant was given an envelope with a certain amount of money ranging from $30-500. Each food item was given a value and the participants were to eat according to their budgets. If they wanted more money they could either go to the "bank" and take out a loan, which had to be paid back in 5 minutes or they would go to jail, or they could go talk to a DSS worker with a bad New York accent. I played the part of the DSS worker and found myself quite entertaining. The youth and chaperons were great and went along with the game as well as expected, occasionally getting very frustrated because they were hungry and didn't have enough money to eat. The point of this poverty simulation was to get the youth familiar with situations that many of our neighbors encounter everyday, especially when having to deal with DSS and banks to try to get loans and are denied because they don't have an ID and can't get an ID for a variety of reasons.

 

All in all it was a good week. Wednesday we took a field trip to the Green in Uptown and the kids had fun playing in the fountain.

Week 3

This is our second week being with the kids and I am thankful to say that they are behaving so much better! Last week was absolutely exhausting, frustrating, yet also very enlightening. We learned that we must plan. Those who know me know that I am not a planner unless I am thinking about 6 years in the future and freaking out about it. But without plans..the children will try to kill each other. Conclusion: plan or die. So that's what we did this week, we have worked on planning out every moment of our time with the kids and so far so good. They were angels Monday and Tuesday..and today we took them to an indoor water park/splash park. It was fun.. but we had 17 kids today; 7 more than we had planned. It was a logistical nightmare but once we got into the park they had a blast, and so did we the "adults". It's still a little weird that I am being lumped into this category because half of the kids think I am 16 and call me Lizzy and the other half ask me where my children are while I'm here and call me Miss Lizzy (or Kelsey or Katy; few have realized my name isn't actually Lizzy). Oh well.

The weekend was a much needed reprieve from the busy and exhausting week we had last week. Friday was awful and I felt like I was going to lose it with the kids. I didn't thankfully. Over the weekend I was able to do some reflecting on the previous week. I am having a much easier time keeping my cool than I thought I was going to. I have been very good at not losing my patience and dealing with the children in the best way I know how. It is very easy to get frustrated with the kids but I have been able to put myself in their shoes and get a better understand as to why they have the need to act out or misbehave.

Their culture is very different than the one I am used to, which brings me to the subject of the "otherness" that we are living in. I hate yelling at children. I don't like having to make children afraid of me to listen to me. This really frustrated me last week until I took a step back and realized that it was what they were used to. In their culture and in their homes, the majority of the children are used to being yelled at and being afraid of the person doing the yelling. I am still not okay with yelling but I am getting better at standing my ground and turning the fear into respect. It is only a week in but I can already tell that we are beginning to strengthen our relationships with the kids and slowly but surely are gaining their trust. This may not seem like a big deal but it is monumental. In their world there are few people that they are able to depend on, if any at all. For this reason, trusting the "other" is probably a difficult concept. In this neighborhood "everyone always leaves", and they learn quickly to not get too attached to anyone and to keep their guards up. Well the guards are still up but the walls are slowing crumbling. The tough girls are starting to relax a bit and laugh at the white girl's attempt to step, and the big bad boys are fighting over who gets to help clean up after lunch. It may be a baby step, but at least it's a step forward.

The "otherness" is wearing off and the kids are beginning to claim us as their own- we are working on street names but so far only one of us has been given one. We have only been here for a week and a half and the outlook is very good for the rest of the summer.. or so I hope. This will probably be one of the hardest summers of our lives but we will certainly never regret any moment we have been granted.

Mid Week Review

After a week of orientation and three days of the summer program with the kids.. all I can say is kudos to all the parents and teachers out there. I don't think I could handle any children of my own right now. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE these kids and I love hanging out with them, but it is an adventure every day- to say the least. Since I have recently become an old lady, I have come to realize that bed time at 11 is going to have to be the norm this summer. Oh well. Enough of that.. on to the good stuff.

Last week was filled with all the information and more that we could have asked for from the wonderful  Hyaets family. We were introduced to our intentional community which will consist of prayer three times daily and dinners together every night. We were briefed on the community of Enderly Park including the shocking statistics relating to graduation rates, food stamp recipients, number of people living below the line of poverty, and the heart ache goes on and on. The people in this community know what it means to suffer, to appreciate, to share. When driving down Tuckaseegee or Parkway, it would be easy to classify this neighborhood as a "scary" one; of course there is crime and drugs and all that kind of stuff, it is a metropolis. The boarded up houses, chained up dogs, and the soundtrack of sirens and subwoofers makes this community seem as though it needs "help". What many may fail to see is that this is a community overflowing with beauty. The beauty may not manifest itself in glorious gardens or Victorian houses or shiny cars; but rather in each of the hearts of  Hyaets community members and affiliates that I have found this brilliance.

In the first week and a half of being here, I have had the privilege of living in a community that appreciates the value of a neighborhood and what it means to be able to rely on your neighbor. In my hometown of Suburbia, USA I don't even know my neighbors' names. Here, not only have I learned our neighbors' names, but I have learned about the little things in their lives that really count; like who is allergic to peanut butter and how important mushrooms can be to someone as well as the hundreds of ways to cook them (think Forrest Gump on this one.. shrimp kebobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo..only with mushrooms.)

This week we began our summer camp-esque program with the kids in the community. Lunch is provided every day, and each day we entertain the kids for a good portion of the afternoon. Monday was park day. Considering it was our first day with the kids and it was the first Monday after the last day of school it went pretty well. There was a coyote at the park and of course the big bad nine-year-olds wanted to find it in the woods..but then screamed like little girls when they saw it. When I asked them what they were going to do if they found it or it came out of the woods after them and of course they responded that they were going to get him real good with the sticks they had collected. Well, needless to say they did not get him as they promised, but quickly scattered when he was visible again. This entertained the kids for about 5 minutes, then we were to continue with our various park games that we brought..frisbee, four square, hopscotch, basketball, and of course the ever popular fight-with-eachother-until-one-of-the-adults-notices-and-tells-us-to-stop-game.

Tuesday was gym day. We took the kids to a gym with another youth group there to volunteer with the kids' activities. Normal gym stuff here..basketball, soccer, etc. There was a community garden behind the church, so the kids did a scavenger hunt and were able to pick their own fresh vegetables and blueberries to take home.

Today (Wednesday) was field trip day. Every Wednesday will be a trip planned for the kids somewhere within the bus route. Today we went to a library downtown Charlotte especially for kids. ImaginOn has an extensive library for young adults and children and special sections throughout the library designed for various age groups. The older kids had the option of playing video games, while the younger kids (and even some older ones!) put on a puppet show for the adults. Many of the puppet shows starred a monkey, an alligator, and a Princess sock puppet thing; the recurring theme of these puppet shows was the monkey eating the alligator or visa-versa and the Princess sock puppet thing marrying the monkey or alligator. It was hard to get the middle school kids engaged in the beginning and they were all bored and didn't want to do anything because they couldn't get on the computer. After we were there for a while they started getting really into playing around with the little kids with their puppet shows or in the pretend grocery store.

Wednesday nights are devo nights (devotionals). These are aimed toward the children and we feed everyone and they teach a short lesson with the hope that they will be able to use the lesson in their soon to be young adult lives. Tonight's lesson was taught by two of the interns including myself and my roommate Kelsey. It was a lesson about the banks and fees and how to avoid debt; useful information considering many of the kids haven't seen success with this before. It was interesting how much distrust these kids had in the bank; many of them even said that they will refuse to put money in the bank because "all banks are out to get you and take your money". The lesson was relatively effective with the moral that you shouldn't take out money you don't have as summarized by the kids. Wednesdays are going to be by far the longest days of the week..luckily Thursdays are pool days and will be more relaxing! (hopefully.)

I am hoping to update this at least 2-3 times a week this summer to keep everyone informed..and hopefully get a better understanding of this crazy and wonderful summer we will be having!